Storms...

Romans 8:28

We know that God makes all things

work together for the good of those who love Him

and are chosen to be a part of His plan. 

This has been on my mind all week.
I haven't been able to shake it.
I really didn't understand why this verse kept coming to my mind.
because to be really honest I am in a really good place in life.

Then this morning while I was listening to music this came to my mind...
Even the horrible, depressing, and unjust things will work together for good.

Then I started thinking that people always say
that the grass is greener on the other side.
You know sometimes it is.
But what we fail to think about is that
before the sunny skies.
Before the green grass and flowers...

there was huge storm.
the skies were gray,
it rained for days,
flooded and wiped everything away.
There was lightning and thunder.
Maybe even a  tornado.

So remember the next time you are in a dark stormy place.
The bigger the storm...
the bluer the skies afterward.

I am speechless...

So God is putting new things in my heart.

In the past I would take the idea and run with it.

God would always say to me,

"Whoa, hold on let me tell you what I want you to do!"

But by that point

I was to far gone and I didn't hear.

Then farther down the road I was lost

and then I'd stop and say, 

"Um God um what am I supposed to be doing?

I want things to be different this time.

Very different.

I want God involved in every step.
I want Him leading and me following.

So I prayed, 

Lord, I am leaving this in your hands.

Then He brought to my memory the verse that says

"For I know the plans I have for you", and also "seek me and you shall find"

I get to church tonight and my mind starts wandering with possibilities.

And well like the saying goes, the possibilities are endless.

But God used this little girl by having her draw me a picture
and she put it in my bible.

When I open my bible I get three "surprises".

One: a beautiful drawing by one precious little girl.

Two: a verse I underlined years ago

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understandings;

In all your ways acknowledge Him 

and He shall direct your path.

Three: another part that is not underlined.

Proverbs 4:11-13

I have taught you in the ways of wisdom;

I have led you in the right paths.

When you walk your steps will not be hindered. 

When you run, you will not stumble.

Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go. 

Keep her for she is your life.

God, 

you constantly leave me speechless.

When you answer, you answer
and I am not left wanting more.

I am satisfied. 
I know what you are speaking to my heart. 
I am no longer wondering anything because I know you are leading.
And in the end, I no longer have questions.
All I have is Your peace in my heart.

Another life changing thought...

So the other day,

I was writing down thoughts about nothing in particular.

Family, friends, where I am in life...

nothing of major importance.

Then God laid something on my heart.

It absolutely blew my mind.

I realized that this last year the things I learned touched my life,

but did not change my heart.

I did change things in my life and start to live differently,

but that's where it ended.

I changed what I did, not who I was.

So here is what I have decided.

I don't just want to do God's plan, but I want to be it.

I don't just want it to be what I do, but who I am.

I want to absolutely consume me body and soul!

Good..

Sometimes I am 
enjoying a moment so much that I 
forget to capture it.

But then I think...

A picture will never 

be able to capture

the true beauty of the moment.

 

I have been to Minneapolis twice in the last month.

Both times have been wonderfully good and perfect.

Not to say that bad things didn't happen because they did.

But that didn't take away from the perfect.

But I guess that good things aren't always perfect

and perfect things aren't always good.

This weekend I had the opportunity to 

sit around, drink wine, listen to records and 

enjoy the company of people that I have known a short time,

yet I feel like I have known them forever.

They are wonderful and I love being around them.

  

I enjoy our silliness and giggles.

I enjoy our chats and commonalities.

Plain and simple.

I enjoy being around you.

I value, love and appreciate you.

 

Sometimes...

Sometimes you just need to get away...

sometimes you have to go for some specific duty you have promised...

and sometimes you go just because (the best kind).

This weekend is just that for me. Going just because.

This weekend (which starts today for me) is going to be awesome.

I know this, not because of what I am doing, 

but because of who I will be with.

I am spending the night at a friends house this evening.

I am sure talking, giggling and laughing til our sides hurt is in our future.

Possibly a movie and ideas for future crafting

all while munching on something completely unhealthy.

Tomorrow starts our road trip to MINNESOTA!

Where friends that I met a short month ago

(and yet I miss dearly)

will be waiting for me and more fun times begin.

So far there is a bonfire to look forward to.

A concert in downtown Minneapolis.

Pizza and wine.

And friendshiping.

What more could you ask for in one weekend?

I am so dumb sometimes.  

This weekend I was really missing my friends.

It's crazy to think that all my closest friends, except for one, 

live at least four hours away from me.

But this weekend I missed them.

I missed them on Friday when I got home from the zoo. 

I missed them Saturday when I went to a baby shower.

And I missed them today on my way to church.

This whole weekend I was wishing that my friends were here 

to go to Barnes and Noble and look at magazines.  

That simple.  Looking at magazines.

But during church, I thought about my pastor. 

I thought about how when she gets a phone call its always someone needing.

Needing an ear.  Needing prayer.

Needing guidance.  Needing answers.

Needing counsel.  Needing...

The list can go on and on.

90% of the time ( honestly it's closer to 100%) 

when my phone rings (or beeps with a text message) 

it is always a friend saying hi. 

Asking how my day is going. Seeing how I am.

I thought about how completely selfish I have been this weekend.

Even though I was around people I felt completely alone.

I think this may be how my pastor feels a lot of the time.

I think God let me feel this so that I can better understand my pastor.

Better understand how to serve not just the church,

but the Pastor as well.

But in the end God is so good.

God cares about my wants

as small as a key necklace to looking at magazines.

I got a text tonight, from my one friend that lives here,

asking if I wanted to meet tomorrow

at Barnes and Noble to look at magazines.

I am not sure why God cares, but I am glad He does.

Confirmation...

June 11th I was in church asking God for direction in my life. 

Did I get it?  

Nope. But for good reason.

God told me that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

When I returned to Joliet after my vacation

I was so pumped and excited watching God's plan unfold.

Three days later...

good feeling gone.

Taking its place frustration, confusion and anger.

An hour later sitting in a fitting room (yes I went shopping),

I told the Enemy that he had no right

to take the joy and peace that God had placed within me.

I left the store completely content

knowing that God was about to do something great,

otherwise the Devil would not be attacking.

A few days later,

I went to a bible study ready to jump into the Word.

But what happened was not what I expected.

The Pastor turns to me and says the Lord had told her to tell me something.

He will use me as a "key" part in bringing my family to Him.

She hands me a skeleton key.

(I have been wanting a skeleton key so that I can make a necklace. God is so cool!)

God once again pours His love on me.

I feel so unworthy and yet, to God, I am priceless.

I stuck it in my bible and when I went to get it out there was a verse that I had circled.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD;

Be of good courage,
         And He shall strengthen your heart

I was reassured that God was directing my path.

A few days later I ended up having a great conversation with my mom. (This is no small thing.)

Followed today by a discussion where I ended up defending people 

who my mom has some issues with.

I kept telling her that they were good people and that she wasn't seeing that because she choose to not see it.

God had placed them in our life to do good.

As our conversation ended, I felt a bad about defending them to my mom (because at the end of the day she is my mom)

At that exact moment that I turned around God asked, "What is the meaning of your name?"

I thought well it means defender of what is good.

Then God responded, "That's exactly what you were doing."

It leaves me speechless when God speaks peace into my heart.

He has a whole world to deal with and yet it is important to Him that I am not sad.

Tonight I was looking for a particular verse that I could not find.

Instead God showed me

Isaiah 43:1-3

But now, says the LORD—
the one who created you, the one who formed you:
Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you;
   I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
   when through the rivers, they won’t sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you won’t be scorched
   and flame won’t burn you.
I am the LORD your God, your savior. 

Wow what more confirmation do I need?

Here I am Lord, use me.