Humbled Yet Again

At the end of everything I want to hear 

"WELL DONE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT"

and not because I did everything perfectly, but because

I did it and with a pure heart.

I have once again found myself in a place where I am learning many things at once.

I started to wish that God would just tell me the lesson and one lesson at a time.

Then I realized that 

LIFE IS THE LESSON.

I have gotten to a point in my life where I love people.

People who love me.

People who don't.

Above all,

people who have hurt me.

Done.  

What is left to do?

.

That's where God took me and said,

"I have called you to love and to serve others."

For a long time I reached out to people and tried to help mold.

Me, Edith Martinez, would try to reach out and help mold.

AGAIN I WAS WRONG!

I am not the potter, I am the clay.

God did not call me to mold.

I am an imperfect person.  

So any molding that I do would be imperfect as well.

So I found myself once again apologizing to God 

and being humbled in the process.

I was also seeing much restoration happening around me. 

I kept thinking how cool that God is restoring things in peoples lives.

When I realized that He is not restoring things.

 He is restoring us, 

restoring the voids that people and life have left in us.

So what's next on my list?

Not molding, but serving others.

Not in hopes that they will see what I am doing.

Not wondering what people think about what I am doing.

Or hoping that my acts of kindness will somehow change people.

But that I will do them because God has called me to do them.

Because God wants me to do them and because He has a plan.

So here I am, in the next part of my being molded,

the next part of my restoration,

the next part of becoming who I am meant to be

  and its hard and a bit painful, 

BUT SO COMPLETELY WORTH IT.